Where the heart is…

Greetings from Alpine, TX!

It is day 3 of our Texan adventure and having already gotten over my initial culture shock and stolen my very first Foursquare mayorship, it seems like a good time to share my thoughts of the trip thus far…

For the record, love brought me here. Hugh considers Alpine, TX to be his home so as his partner, it is my responsibility to get to know this place he is so closely identified with. Back in November he came with me to Santo Domingo and that was an experience that brought us closer together. I expect that this trip will be yet another important milestone in our relationship.

The most noticeable, albeit unimportant, things I have discovered in this trip is that I am a city girl and a terrible liar. I came to West Texas knowing that this wasn’t exactly urban but nothing can prepare you for the realization that you are really in the middle of nowhere except maybe for a coyote crossing the dark road in the middle of the desert.

Yes, I saw a coyote.

Yesterday I also stood in the middle of a main intersection for a solid 5 minutes and not one car drove by. This did answered my question as to why all traffic lights here are just blinking lights as if mere suggestions.

These are things he loves of the place he calls home and despite my best efforts to “be cool”, I haven’t been able to keep myself from freaking out. The moment when the words “I would never live here” came out of my mouth, is probably one I will regret for a long time… I am different but not better and I didn’t differentiate the two at the time…

I think that in some ways these incidents also illustrate my next discovery… In my life I have taken more chances than I care to admit; still, I find comfort in the structured, in the rituals the fox in the Little Prince spoke about…no matter how many adventures I’ve seeked and had, I only thrive in the familiar.

There is also something about visiting someone else’s home that is almost like opening Pandora’s box. There is a history there that does not include you, and within that history there are witnesses and points of view that add layers of complexity.

I love that even through my mini nervous breakdowns these past few days Hugh still loves me, and I love that each day I am learning more about this person I love so much from those who have known him longer.

But I hope that I will find a place inside me that will be more open minded. Because as it turns out open-mindedness isn’t just about being a radical liberal but all around accepting. I should know better. But since I don’t, I better learn quick.

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